What I Don’t Know For Sure: Thanksgiving Reflection November 24, 2009

What I Don’t Know For Sure

When I turned ten I already knew that there was no truth with a capital T.  I knew that a great variety of stories sprang forth out of one situation, in my case, my parents’ divorce.  No one had the whole truth of the situation- it was all ambiguous, complex, and confusing.  Living in two households was doubly confusing.  For myself, on turning ten, the imaginary characters were gone and real life was busy and perplexing enough.  And when I fell and skinned the knees of my heart, they bled and healed and eventually bled again.

Holidays are always particularly confusing for children of divorce such as myself.  It was mandated where I was to be, but ultimately I was always left with that lingering feeling of guilt that could not split myself into two.  Then  there was my grandmother Mabel, whose mantra was “Oh, I wish you lived closah.”  And there was my other grandmother who I wanted to be with so that she could see that I was the perfect one (ah, family systems!).  She treated me like I had a disease- a divorce disease which might spread to her other grandchildren.  (And it did.)

And amidst all of this, I was supposed to be thankful and happy.  I spent so much time being thankful, playing down the trauma of divorce, playing down the tragedy of a broken home and unspoken sadness, that I never really got to learn from it.  I was encouraged to express my feelings, of course.  But I always somehow thought that expressing my feelings would make them go away, just as if one could pray to god for a jet-ski and expect one to arrive next day via FedEx.  If I expressed how I felt I could control the world around me, or so I thought.  As a kid, sometimes it really did work, but only because it freaked out the adults into submission.

“You’ll get more presents as Christmas!” they cooed.  “You’ll get to ride on an airplane all by yourself once a month!”  On and on, went the spin that was meant to mitigate my parents’ pain around the results of the custody battle.  I put on a good face as I grew up, listening in high school to stories of real tragedy like friends sexually assaulted, dying in car accidents, getting cancer.  Nothing horrible ever happened to me.  For that I was thankful.

And yet, by the time I applied to seminary, I was a mess.  Never had I taken the time to ponder just how awful life had been during the divorce and custody battle time and how profoundly it shaped me and even my call to ministry.  I give thanks for the insight that, as a little kid in the midst of divorce, I suffered.  Had I never been able to name it, I would continue thinking that feeling lousy was wrong and irresponsible as a fellow family member, even as a human being.

Now, let’s have it out.  I am a total optimist.  But I am not going to force it on anyone else or tell them to put “love” labels on their water or push the “secret” on them.  I am also an agnostic.  So even as I look forward to good things and believe that good is possible, I really don’t know for sure.  And many days I am a total skeptic.  When I hear the trials that people have put other people through…  When I hear specific stories about genocide in Guatemala that no longer allow it to be an abstraction, I am skeptical about our future.  But because I never really know for sure, I have made space amidst the yuckiest yuck of life for grace to shine through.  There is no telling.  And I am thankful for this not-knowing.  It places my life in a larger context.  I am thankful for my doubting mind, as it allows me to connect with all the cantankerous crusties out there who have been hurt just as I have. But I am also thankful for the callings of the spirit that keep opening me up to what is still possible in this glorious and failing life on earth.

Action for Fair Food at Publix continues! November 10, 2009

Check out photos here of local Floridian UUs picketing Publix in their work to encourage Publix to buy slavery-free tomatoes!

Great Op-Ed from News Press October 27, 2009

Once again, an esteemed colleague says what I feel, elegantly.  And so I share with you the words from the Rev. Jim Boler, United Church of Christ minister (retired), who served on the staff of the Florida Conference of the United Church of Christ for 16 years. He was then an associate minister at Sanibel Congregational UCC before retiring in January. He serves with me on the Interfaith Action of Southwest Florida Board.
(Original source here)

Oct 27, 2009 News-Press

Rev. Jim Boler: Publix involved in tomato-pickers fate, like it or not

On Oct. 18, farmworkers and their allies held a vigil on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in downtown Fort Myers.  This is the site of the slavery case following the January 2008 federal grand jury indictment of six people in Immokalee for their part in what U.S. Attorney Doug Molloy called “slavery, plain and simple.” The employers were charged with beating workers who were unwilling to work or who attempted to leave their employ picking tomatoes, holding their workers in debt, and chaining and locking workers inside box trucks in the middle of Immokalee as punishment.

The Coalition of Immokalee Workers participated in this and five other similar cases resulting in convictions involving more than 1,000 farmworkers held as slaves. The CIW works to ensure human rights and fair wages for those who harvest the tomatoes we consume. Last month Compass Group (the leading contract food service company in North America) and East Coast Growers and Packers (the third largest tomato grower in Florida) announced their groundbreaking agreement to implement the CIW’s Fair Food principles this coming tomato harvesting season. Other agreements have previously been reached with socially conscious corporations including Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, Burger King, Whole Foods and Subway. Two other tomato growers (Alderman Farms and Ladymoon Farms) have agreed to implement Fair Food principles.

But Publix has refused to participate and is, as of this writing, continuing to purchase and sell tomatoes harvested at two area farms corrupted by this latest slavery conviction. Because of that we were at the courthouse vigil, then walked a short distance and continued a candlelight vigil at the First Street Village Publix on McGregor Boulevard. This is the Publix that received a $50,000-per-month rent subsidy from Fort Myers. Having received community support Publix must now support the farmworkers of this community.

Maria Brous, a Publix spokeswoman, is quoted as saying, “Our official position is we don’t get involved in the middle of labor disputes between our suppliers and other organizations.”

Well, Ms. Brous, Publix is already involved. I agree with Publix when it says that with more than 35,000 products it can’t get involved in all disputes with suppliers. Nor should they. But this is not just a labor dispute; this involves human rights.

How many of Publix’s suppliers are involved in actual convictions for slavery? I assume not too many. When Publix knowingly purchases tomatoes from fields tainted by the sweat of slaves (not just worker and human rights abuse but actual slavery convictions) Publix is involved in that “dispute” on the side of injustice and immorality.

In 1776 Adam Smith’s famous “Wealth of Nations,” advocating a free market economy, was published. But, before that, in 1759, Adam Smith’s “Theory of Moral Sentiments” was published, the book he considered as his “foundational” work. He said economics is not “amoral.” Any civilized social system (economic or otherwise) makes moral judgments and has moral consequences. Economics, wrote Smith, needs a moral base, which the free market does not provide.

Come on, Publix; you are much better than this. Until now your reputation has been exemplary. In this “labor dispute” moral principles should trump Publix’s company policy. Now I read that a Publix worker, claiming to be making an independent documentary, filmed our peaceful, nonviolent protests. This is a new low for Publix. Meet with the CIW. As a loyal Publix customer I expect nothing less.

Coming Out for Equality October 2, 2009

Come Out for Equality!

Who: LGBT and friends

What: local southwest Florida solidarity demonstration for the National Equality March

When: Sunday October 11th at 12:30 pm

Where: corner of McGregor and Colonial

Sign making at Bar Association 6pm Mon Oct 5th

Parking under the bridge, Alliance for the Arts, the Palms Dinner Theatre.

Bring flags and homemade signs and wear white on Sunday for gay marriage

Bring a folding chair, water, and wear covered shoes

Contact: 239-344-0012

Esteemed Colleague Dies September 26, 2009

On September 24, 2009, the Rev. Forrest Church died after a long battle with cancer. Church was the Minister of Public Theology at All Souls Church in NYC and author of acclaimed books such as Freedom from Fear, So Help Me God, Love and Death. We await the publication of his most recent, final book that was written when an experimental treatment for his cancer gave him some more time to fulfill last words.  The most recent book is Church’s articulation of Universalist theology for this aching and beautiful world, The Cathedral of the World which will  be available this fall.  For more information on Rev. Church and memorial service and online tribute, go here.

Victory for UU Legislative Ministry in California! September 13, 2009

This is a victory that came about through a collaborative relationship between The UU Legislative Ministry Action Network, the UU Service Committee the Environmental Justice Coalition for Water, Urban Semillas, Food and Water Watch and Alliance for Democracy- all of whom co-sponsored the bill. Now it awaits the gubernatorial signature.

How exciting are the prospects for the beginnings of the Legislative Ministry in Florida! I am inspired by the idea that we could inspire congregations to more focused action in their UU communities- not just pet projects here and there. As Rev. Ramsden told our steering committee, we are going for a big splash, and we can’t go it alone.

On a day when many of us celebrated water communion, I thought it prescient to share this tidbit about water and about UU advocacy efforts making a big splash!

Yahoo!

Immigration September 4, 2009

Some photos were sent to me from a friend who volunteered over the summer for No More Deaths in Arizona.  Their mission, as printed on their website, is

Mission Statement

No More Deaths is an organization whose mission is to end death and suffering on the U.S./Mexico border through civil initiative: the conviction that people of conscience must work openly and in community to uphold fundamental human rights. Our work embraces the Faith-Based Principles for Immigration Reform and focuses on the following themes:

• Direct aid that extends the right to provide humanitarian assistance
• Witnessing and responding
• Consciousness raising
• Global movement building
• Encouraging humane immigration policy.

Unitarian Universalist ministerial aspirant Walt Staton was convicted this summer for “littering.”  Part of a frequented migrant path is on a wildlife refuge.  Volunteers from No More Deaths leave water jugs for those who would otherwise potentially die of thirst in the desert.  The volunteers always return to the sites, as a way to know how effective the water supplying is.  The idea that they are littering is ludicrous.  They are leaving water, a basicl essential of life, to human beings who need it!

Listen to Mr. Staton’s sermon entitled “Life or Litter” here as published on UU Tucson’s website.  Since summer of 2008, No More Deaths has been a vital part of the UU Church of Tucson’s  ministry.

When you see, these pictures about the often silenced side of immigration, please read the captions, as they are very enlightening.  If you have any comments to share about good resources about immigration in Florida, please share them by commenting below!

Guatemala Part 2 September 1, 2009

Ms. Menchu Tum was a 1992 Nobel Prize winner.  She has long worked for indigenous rights, learning Spanish and the Bible to be able to communicate effectively and strengthen her message.  In her book, I, Rigoberta Menchu she talks about the Bible as being a weapon- a way to appeal to the Christian culture for an end to the injustices happening to indigenous Mayan people in Guatemala.  She is a controversial figure, because she has been such an agent of change in her country.  When Genelle and Helen saw her speak at a women’s conference, Rigoberta shared with the audience that she wakes each morning and asks herself, “How will I bother them today?”

rendering of Rigoberta Mechu Tum

But truly the work she has done is very positive.  And we were invited to be with a group of educators in Guatemala City at the Rigoberta Menchu Tum Foundation.. What a gift to be with them as Genelle shared teaching strategies, tips, and sustainable teaching tools with the group.  We played the games together as if we were the children.  We also got to talk about Unitarian Universalism.  The gathered group seemed impressed that we could hold it together with no dogma or creed.  I talked about the power of the promises and commitments we make to one another and how that challenges us to grow yet also calls us back to one another and the Holy.  At least I tried to say something along those lines as I struggled along in my rudimentary Spanish.

The most moving part of teacher’s workshop time was when Genelle played Lucia’s Letter.  Lucia’s Letter is a recording of a young woman reading a letter to her mother.  In it she describes the nearly indescribable journey and trauma she experienced because she was sent to the United States from Guatemala to work and support her family.  The young woman was taken over the border by a coyote, a person –usually male- who is paid to traffic people across borders.  Coyotes must be well-trusted, as many coyotes take advantage of the fear and powerlessness of the people they lead.  In Lucia’s Letter, the girl was drugged to walk faster and have less appetite; she was raped and brutalized; and then she was enslaved in forced labor once she arrived in the states- in Immokalee.  All of this is under the threat that the girl would be turned into la migra, or Immigration, the coyote painting exaggerated pictures that she would be jailed or worse by la migra.  In the end, Lucia’s Letter encourages parents to save the money they would give to the coyote and invest that in their daughter’s education in Guatemala.  Educated women and children will strengthen all of Guatemala.

So as we listened to the recording, I could feel the energy in the room shift.  After the recording ended, all of us were breathing deeper, shaking heads, staring blankly, tearing up.  All were quiet together for some moments.  Then some of the men spoke- lifting up the many experiences of trauma that communities in Guatemala have experienced- the kinds of experiences that turned young men’s hair white.  But as I scanned the room, the most powerful movement that was happening was under the surface and in the silence of the women.  It was in the careful composure of their faces that the dams might not be loosed, the indescribable surfacing only through the moistened eyes that looked up so that tears might not fall.  In my belly, I could feel the power of their direct experience, of knowing that aunties, sisters, cousins, mothers of the gathered female teachers, or perhaps they themselves, knew this pain keenly.

Under the surface of everything in Guatemala I felt this.  Even my Spanish lessons revealed how much my wonderful young Spanish teacher had to clearly define herself as Spanish, not Indian, not one of them.  The normative was still the culture of el conquistador, all these years later.  Helen and I went on a tour around the neighboring villages of Antigua.  In one small town we came across a monument.  The monument documented the surrender of a Mayan leader to a Spanish conquistador.  Surrounding the leader who is on his knees, are more Spanish soldiers.  In the right hand corner a priest conspires with a Spaniard.

At the top of the monument is a rendering of a conquistador on a horse, his horse rearing up, the hooves poised to crush the 3 volcanoes in the background.

La Merced

When we went to a beautiful cathedral in Antigua, La Merced, a man was singing hymns and playing his guitar.  Adherents were in the pews, one woman singing along with him, crying and singing the words of faith that would hold her in her pain.  Copal and candles burned at various altars as offerings of hope and healing.  I observed a handful of people in tears, coming to this place for solace.

It was beautiful.  I imagined these saddened- grieving people feeling a bit better when they left the cathedral.  I imagined them seeing the pain they experience differently, getting a perspective that gave them the power to choose how to respond in their grief.

I hope we can do that for people at church.  That you come to church to feel things, to experience a greater love.   As Emerson says, “The heart knoweth.”

And this trip to Guatemala serves as a reminder to me of what pain and suffering lies under the surface of everything.  The clothes I buy, the tomatoes from the market, the men on downtown benches.  We can either run and hide from it or face it.  And spaces like churches and temples and synagogues are the places where we can- in a safe, structured way- feel the overwhelm and somehow temper it all with joy.  Somehow, Sunday after Sunday, we can restore hope in our hearts. Isn’t life worth the effort of hoping?

Pictures and Stories from Guatemala Part 1 August 18, 2009

I promised that I might post some pictures from our time in Guatemala with GRACE Project.  Our leader was Dr. Genelle Grant and faithful sidekicks were myself and member Helen Dixon, who has worked with other fabulous folks in our congregation in support of the healing and solidarity work of the GRACE Project.

First of all, one of the great and silly things about me is that I try not to have expectations when engaging in adventures such as these.  My main hopes for the trip were to

• get to know my fellow traveling companions,
• study Spanish with one-on-one tutoring,
• learn more about what Genelle does so that we can weave together how GRACE Project and similar projects can become more integrated into the church’s ministry
• and also discover where there is synergy- where am I being called or guided in this journey of life? Why did it feel right to go to Guatemala?

But I was open and ready to see what was in store…

It seems that the journey began some years ago when I took a class with Professor Claude-Marie Barbour.  The class was about ministering to survivors of human rights abuses.  The subject was near and dear to her own life experience and to her heart, and she shared her heart with us.  I came to learn about the School of Americas and then went to the protest for the first time in 2005 at the gates of Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia.  Those experiences are left to another blog entry.  But I will say that there more connections were made and I began to understand more deeply the U.S. involvement in terror and torture, as well as hear more stories of suffering and pain due to U.S.-backed military police operatives in several centro-american countries.

I wanted to go to the SOA protest last year, but I was not sure who the local contacts would be.  I found an FGCU student’s myspace page (which provided her phone number) and, after the shock of a total stranger having her name and phone number, she gave me a contact number at Interfaith Action of Southwest Florida.  Now I serve on their Board!  It truly is providential how these connections are made, so I find it important to look back and weave together the threads or see how life has woven them for me.  I was fortunate enough to travel with the Coalition of Immokalee Workers- which planted a seed for me that I needed to learn Spanish.  I love to talk and know what folks are talking about.  I knew I was missing out.

What I later learned was that some of my traveling companions were in the same situation as me- some spoke only broken Spanish.  Instead of their native tongue being English, the mother tongue was one of the 23 (or more!) indigenous Mayan languages.  This is why learning Spanish in Guatemala is great.  Lots of folks there speak Spanish as a second language, so it is clear and at a slightly slower pace.

yo y mi maestra Stephany!

I studied Spanish at Ixchel Spanish School. Mi maestra was a fabulous gal named Stephany.  We had fun and liked to joke around.  One difficult thing to do in a foreign language is to make jokes.  Luckily I can make many silly faces to get a laugh, along with wild gesticulation.

We also made two trips- one to a rural area further up outside of  Jocotenango to a big school and then to the Rigoberta Menchu’ Tum Foundation in Guatemala City.  Now if I seem vague, let me remind you that my ability to process was limited by some language issues and simply forgetting that I ought to document this journey.  It is a gift to be a follower and not always a leader.  The big school (ask Genelle!) boasted a huge campus.  Many things were going on that day- the campus bustling with middle school and high school age kids, all in uniform with the exception of some young women in traditional cortes or huipls.  That day was some kind of big regional gathering day, so when we went to the main oficina it took the administrators a while to figure out where we were going.  We ended up in the cafeteria, which had part of it partitioned off as a library and computer lab.  The computers were a big deal!  Helen and I played the part of teaching assistants that day.  We met up with Genelle’s colleague Amilcar, who was doing great work in his local community to create more resources for children’s education.  He was from Mixco.

Genelle, Amilcar, y muchos livros

Our “audience” that day was a group of high school students who were studying to be teachers themselves.  As an experienced teacher, Dr. Grant was able to share techniques with them that would maximize the brain power of the students.  Simple strategies like  breathing, drinking water, having a peppermint, using both hands to stimulate both sides of the brain, were all shared in fun ways.  Genelle also shared the EcoBingo Bilingo game, an easily reproduced bingo game that builds bilingual vocabulary.

Helen (in turquoise) loves giving out prizes! By now the whole room has been won over!

Dr. Genelle Grant demonstrates the EcoBingo Bilingo game to future teachers

And what did I enjoy?  Well, I got to sit in a little chair and feel like a student myself.  I was so impressed with Amilcar and with Genelle’s passion and dedication.  And I roamed around the classroom to help with various parts of the workshop.  I helped teach how to fold peace cranes (las grullas).  And I got some lessons in Spanish, Mam and K’iché from the teens.  In exchange I offered French.  From what I heard in Mam and K’iché, they were very different from one another and had such awesome glottal plosive sounds.  So beautiful.  This group is beautiful!

Please know that we explicitly asked for permission to take pictures with the knowledge that these pictures would be used to share our experiences with "the public." I would never post them without permission. The camera was an inspiration to all to sit up straight and keep the hair in place.

EcoBINGO Bilingo! y mi Grulla

This workshop was definitely a highlight, because I love teenagers!  And the vision that dominated the whole workshop was one guided by working towards peace, justice, and loving the earth.  Gorgeous.

if you can see, some students are holding blue earth globes they were all given, "because the world is in your hands."

I will post more later!

Unitarian Universalist History August 6, 2009

Our Unitarian Universalist Church of Fort Myers Adult Education ministry team has been working our the curriculum Our Unitarian Universalist Story. In the spirit of their work, I wanted to pass along a colleague’s blog that features a number of lectures on Unitarian Universalist theology and history.  Check them out here.  The Rev. Thom Belote is the minister of the Shawnee Mission Unitarian Universalist Church in Overland Park, KS, and his lectures are fun and educational!