I thought this might be a helpful resource from someone whose work I really admire (also, check out a great she is in on called Racialicious.com). Her bio and pitch follow:
Carmen Van Kerckhove, president of the diversity education firm New Demographic, specializes in working with corporations to facilitate relaxed, authentic, and productive conversations about race. She has appeared on CNN, MSNBC, and has visited as a guest lecturer at Harvard, Princeton, and Columbia, among many other colleges and universities across the country. If you want to learn how to boost your career by mastering the changing dynamics of race in today’s workplace, get your FREE TIPS now at http://www.NewDemographic.com.
How to Respond to a Racist Joke
By Carmen Van Kerckhove
Figuring out how to react when a co-worker makes a racist joke can be extremely difficult. If you don’t call the person out on her racism, you seem to be condoning the behavior. But if you do say something, you risk alienating him and sabotaging your working relationship.
The best response to a racist joke should accomplish 3 things:
1. Communicate that you find this behavior unacceptable.
2. Demonstrate that the joke is racist.
3. Inflict as little damage as possible to your working relationship with the joker.
Before I explain the response I would recommend, let’s look at some of the other possible reactions available to you and why they are not ideal.
You don’t laugh.
Withholding your laughter is a way to avoid personally colluding in this kind of racist behavior without damaging your relationship with the joker. However, by staying silent, you do not necessarily make it clear that you find this kind of humor unacceptable and that the joke is racist.
You walk away.
People who tell racist jokes assume that you will agree with and appreciate this kind of humor. By walking away, you communicate that their behavior is unacceptable. However, the act of walking away does nothing to demonstrate the racism inherent in the joke, and the gesture is likely to anger the joker.
You say that you find the joke offensive because it is racist.
This is the most straight-forward to respond to a racist joke. With this reaction, you convey that the joke is unacceptable to you and that it is racist. However, by criticizing your co-worker in front of others in such a blunt manner, you are likely to damage your working relationship and put her on the defensive. She will likely fire back by making it seem as if you are the one with the problem. She will say that “it’s just a joke,” that you need to “loosen up,” and that you’re “just too sensitive.”
I’ve established why the above responses are not particularly effective. So how should you react if your co-worker tells a racist joke in front of you?
The best strategy is to play dumb.
Put on a bewildered expression, act as if you don’t understand the joke, and ask your co-worker to explain it to you. He will not be able to explain why the joke is funny without evoking a racist stereotype. You can then question the veracity of this stereotype, thus pointing out the racism of the joke, without being confrontational and without humiliating your co-worker.
Here’s how it would play out.
Co-worker: Did you hear that Angelina Jolie adopted another kid, this time from Vietnam?
You: Oh really?
Co-worker: Yeah. The poor kid probably doesn’t even know he’s Asian yet. He certainly doesn’t know he’s going to be a horrible driver. Or that he’s going to be amazing at doing nails. He has no idea! [Laughs heartily.]
You: [Look perplexed.] Sorry, I don’t get it.
Co-worker: What do you mean?
You: I guess I’m missing something. Why is that funny?
Co-worker: [Looks embarrassed.] Um, well you know how people say that Asians are bad drivers. And a lot of people who work at nail salons are Asian.
You: But those are just stereotypes, aren’t they?
Co-worker: Well, all stereotypes have some truth to them.
You: So you actually believe that all Asians are bad drivers and are good at doing nails?
Co-worker: No, no, it’s just… Never mind.
Racist jokes rely on an unspoken, shared knowledge of racist stereotypes. Without the stereotypes, there is no humor.
When you play dumb and ask someone to explain the joke, you are able to draw the racist stereotype out into the open, address it directly, and demonstrate how absurd and offensive it is. But because you are feigning ignorance, you can accomplish all of this without alienating your co-worker and putting your working relationship in jeopardy.
(By the way, the joke I used in this scenario is an actual joke told on The Tonight Show by a comedian named Chelsea Handler. Of course, nobody on the show bothered to point out how racist it was.)
© 2004-2009 New Demographic.